Is a small family a happy family?

Human is a social animal and for a man or a woman, relationship is of equal importance as that of his/her basic needs. In this era of modern world, there is hardly a joint family that we see living together around us. It’s not been long that families used to live together adjusting with each other. But things have changed and now even the children are getting separated from their parents before and after marriage. So what are we missing by separating ourselves?

 

The traditional Indian family

The idea of a family in India is very different from the western world. While in Europe and USA, it is a general practice where the kids leave the houses of their parents once they start to earn a living for themselves, children stay with their parents for lifetime.

Not only that our family used to comprise of children and their parents, but there used to be a joint family residing in the same house wherein uncles and aunties along with the grandparents used to co-live. Except for separate rooms, everyone used to do everything together right from preparing meals to having food together. The expenses used to be shared across all the mini families and there were a happy big family always full of people around the houses.

 

The changed picture of Indian families

Post 1970s-1980s, the scenario of the Indian families changed and the joint families that used to live together were separating out into smaller families. There were several reasons that contributed to this outcome.

• To live in a joint family one have to adjust a lot, even if someone had a different opinion on some matter he/she have to go with the decision that majority of the family members. Nowadays, families wants more space and live according to their terms.
• The concept of joint family revolves around believing on “Us before I” and “Ours before mine”. Now every family member might not have the same financial support as others in a joint family and that leads to disparity if one is asked to contribute more according to their financial status.
• As the family grew, it became difficult for the families to stay in a single room. The houses did not have adequate space for all the families to stay and it was getting over-crowded.
• The families started to grow financially stable and as a result, people could afford to buy their own houses. They can get their privacy, choose what color they want to put for their rooms and what furniture or appliances they want to buy.
• As job market opened, people started to get into companies that are far from their current home. So many preferred to stay near to their work location instead of wasting a lot of time in travelling. The option to rent an apartment made this process easy by providing them the flexibility to stay according to their choice even if they don’t want to buy a house.

The effects of living in a smaller family

Of course the detachment of families from being joint to living separate gave the family’s privacy and their won space, the adverse effects also cannot remain unnoticed. Let’s see a few of them.

• The children are not getting their part of love from their uncles, aunties or grandparents. He or she only sees their parents and hence the definition of a family that included uncles’ family and grandparents as well has changed to only parents and their children.
• The child does not have to share things anymore, they are getting new clothes, new toys and are keeping all by themselves. This has led to the decrease in sharing attitude which otherwise they had to share with their cousins in joint families.
• Due to the smaller families, the child is facing depression and for working parents (both), the situation of their child is worse which leads them to the world of video games and television all day. They neither get the proper guidance from the elder members of the family nor do they have their cousins of similar age to play with them when both of their parents have gone to work.
• It’s not just the child who is the sufferer, but their parents as well. Suppose, if a misunderstanding happens between husband and wife which might lead to serious issues, there is no family member to get them into the resolution.  
• Financially also if there is a problem, there is no support from the other members of the family who can provide some support until the problem is resolved. The single family is on their own to get their expenses running anyhow.

 

Conclusion:

In the current scenario, even the children are getting separated from their parents either due to job being in different region of the country or the world, or due to problems arising after marriage.

Whatever may be the reason, we are now getting into a world where everyone is suffering from some kind of depression or the other, and there is no family who can support him/her and take them out from their difficult period.

The main objective of a human should be to achieve happiness in their life, and not just getting richer and richer each day. After all, what is the use of money if you are suffering from depression and anxiety, nobody is there to stand by your side! There is no one in the world who can support one more than their parents.

Please let me know what you think of the changed family system...